2004: The “Oh My God” Year

Wow, been awhile since I posted. On the flip side, the holiday madness is finally over. I liked the hype though- catching up with friends and family seemed to be just what I needed to remind me that I am in fact still saner than some people.

Ok…OH MY GOD. That’s been my number one line this year. I didn’t think things could get any worse, but…TSUNAMI?? What’s going on? This year, the Middle East got hit with so many bombs. Remember hurricane Ivan? It destroyed thousands of homes in Florida and in the Caribbean. It’s very heartbreaking to hear the stories about the thousands of innocent people who have died. I guess we must always live life to the fullest, because we never know what can happen.

This year could also be called The Year of the Breakup. I’m not just talking about
J-Lo & Ben or Kirsten and Jake… practically every couple I knew split up this year, myself included. My story plays like an episode of Sex and the City, only with a Nancy Drew feel. Also, my aunt and uncle filed for divorce. Isn’t it funny how you look at a couple and always think that they’re going to last forever? I’m sort of sketchy towards that stuff now.

In May, the final episode of Friends, drew 52 million viewers in North America. So, no more of one of my favorite shows. I know, there’s always Joey, but I’m never here when it’s on. Besides, it’s not the same with the rest of the gang.

I had school equipment trouble. I was one of the two people in my class who got a kit of cameras that don’t work, flashes that don’t flash, and broken wires, leaving me to fall a bit behind in the work at the beginning.

I fail my driver’s test, again. By two marks!!! But I know I’ll pass the next one.

Talking about the year of the Monkey, here’s a ‘monkey’ : Bush was re-elected. I’m not American and will support whatever decisions they make…but I wanted Kerry to win.

Many entertainment legends have passed away this year including Ray Charles, Marlon Brando, and Christopher Reeve. Christopher Reeve was definitely a hero. I cannot imagine not being able to move, and I am a pretty calm person compared to others.

Oh my god, I have homework during the holidays!!
All stupid Greeks all the time: The Hellenic Community of Montreal paid almost $24,000 for calls to adult phone lines at a time when it was struggling to pay teachers at four Greek schools, a recent audit shows. Hmm. Now why am I not surprised?

Oh yeah, and a stupid criminal tried to counterfeit a Million-dollar bill, which does not exist. I rest my case.

There was so much more, and you can click the link (title) for more 2004 events.

How was 2004 for you?

Damn blue-ass Monkey year!

Down with the Monkey. I'm not talking about good old Rafiki here- I'm referring to Chinese astrology. 2004, as you may, or may not know, is the year that the Chinese named after the monkey.

I used to like monkeys. I always thought that they would make the ideal pet. You know, they're smart, comical, almost human-like creatures. And when I say smart, I mean smart. This summer while in California, I went down to the 3rd Street Promenade, a lively pedestrian mall in the heart of Santa Monica. Some of you may know this as "the place where Jay Leno sometimes films clips for the Tonight Show." The street performers there are pretty incredible. Among them, was this really intelligent guy with his really intelligent monkey. See, this performer guy has no talent. All he did was dress his monkey up in a hat and sort of suit, so he looks all professional. Holding the leash that he put this monkey on, he just stands there as the monkey walked around in circles. Now, passers-bys (and there are many of them, especiall tourists), find this captivating because it's rare that you see a monkey elsewhere than at a zoo. Now, here's where "performance" comes in. If you had the monkey a dollar bill, he takes it, neatly folds it and puts in his jacket pocket, and extends his hand for a handshake. So thanks to his monkey, the guy makes more money just standing there than the guy who could potentially injure himself by juggling fire.

People born in the year of the monkey tend to be trouble makers, pranksters and manipulators just like the monkey. The monkey year is described as "A year of sidestepping problems and clever manipulations, backed by intelligence and guile. Short-lived, transitory projects and the open exchange of ideas filters our emotions through an agile and razor sharp intelligence. Using a great sense of humor (and sarcasm) Monkey years, hold out bright prospects of a fascinating future, rich in the unexpected. A year of "transformations." A year to give full rein to your imagination, but also be wary of over-optimism, allowing tolerance of the intolerable. Riots, revolutions and the overthrow of rulers, keep everyone on their toes! Monkey years spin everyone's concept of "normal." Bluffs, tricks, ruses and deceptions abound during Monkey years; Those who enjoy risk and novelty, thrive; Those who prefer predictability and convention, wince." Also, 60 years ago, 1944's Wood Monkey brought a climactic year of the second world war, when the threat of disaster brought allied forces together. So many natural disasters happened in money years too.. click the link (title) for more.

I don't know if it's just me, but certainly had a unpredictable year. Has anyone else developped a fear of monkey years? That being said, I now think monkeys are evil. I'll give more details of why my year sucked next post.

Which level of HELL are YOU going to?

So I took the Dante's Inferno Test and this was my result:

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Second Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	Very High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Low
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Low
Level 7 (Violent)	Moderate
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Moderate

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

Level 2 reads:"You have come to a place mute of all light, where the wind bellows as the sea does in a tempest. This is the realm where the lustful spend eternity. Here, sinners are blown around endlessly by the unforgiving winds of unquenchable desire as punishment for their transgressions. The infernal hurricane that never rests hurtles the spirits onward in its rapine, whirling them round, and smiting, it molests them. You have betrayed reason at the behest of your appetite for pleasure, and so here you are doomed to remain. Cleopatra and Helen of Troy are two that share in your fate."

I'm in the same league as Cleopatra and Helen of Troy? Ok..that's not so bad, right? I'm not sure if it's accurate though. But if you read about the background of this quiz, it's supposed to have been very carefully created for the most accurate results. What do you think? Where in the afterlife is eveyone going? Is it possible for anyone to get into purgatory?

Modern Christmas songs

Ding dong, school is done, no more books, no more pain. Ding dong, the holidays are here!!

I'm so happy I finally got to do nothing all day, for once. Well, nothing productive or stressful. I spent a lot of time today downloading music, especially Christmas songs that were stuck in my head. Found a great 13-minute Christmas dance medley, and downloaded Boney M's Mary's Boy Child- if you haven't heard that one, I recommend that you download it. It's chicken soup for the festive soul.

As I was searching for Christmas songs, it occured to me that there are two categories of Christmas songs. There are the classic ones such as The First Noel and Jingle Bells. Then, there are the modern ones, such as Destiny's Child's 8 Days of Christmas. When I did a search for modern xmas songs, I came accross this site, with lyrics for some songs I've never heard of. Click the title for a link to that site. Here's my favorite modern xmas song- sing me me, ya'll!

Violent Night (sang to the tune of "Silent Night")

Silent Mac, broken Mac!
System bombed, screen went black.
Books suggested things; I tried 'em all:
Shift key, desktop file, clean reinstall.
Now my deadline is tight,
This Mac's been silent all night.

Violent night, horrible night!
Lost my cool, filled with spite,
Threw my Mac through the balcony door
Watched it fall from
the 20th floor, Now I'm sleeping in peace;
Thank God I had it on lease.

"Modern" names

Is "@" a name? A father in central China has been refused permission to name his son '@'. The dad wanted to name his son after the keyboard character that appears in every email address, arguing it was now in common usage. But officials in Zhengzhou, Henan province, refused to register the name on a legal technicality, the Beijing Morning Post reported. Under Chinese law, all names must be capable of being translated into Mandarin.

Unfortunately, I'm not kidding. Click the link (title) if you don't believe me.

Guess he's following Hollywood's baby-naming rules. You know, do like Gwyneth and call your daughter Apple, like Rob Morrow and call your son Tu (get it, Tu Morrow! haha! "hey,I saw Tu Morrow yesterday!") or like this other celebrity guy who called his kid Audio Science.

Can anyone tell me why anyone would name their child Fifi Trixiebelle, Peaches Honeyblossom, and Little Pixie (like the daughters of rocker Bob Geldof), or Rumer, Scout and Talluah Belle (like Demi Moore named her daughters).

Nothing's weirder than @, unless you count the artist formerly known as Prince. His name consists of 4 symbols, including an @.

I'm not sure whether I find this funny or sad. I cannot believe how stupid people are. You're naming a kid here, not the newest version of the iPod. I know, I know, people want to come up with unique names so that their kid stands out- as do I- but some names are a bit too unique.

Whether they're crazy...

As most of you know, or don't know, I work at a library. The good thing about there is that if you see an interesting book, you get to put it aside and take your time reading it. Or, for people like me who don't have time to read, you get to find books to make fun of.

The "Teach Yourself" books are great. Think of them as the "dummies books" third-cousins. There's one for almost anything-I've seen Teach yourself Screenwriting, Teach yourself Spanish, Teach yourself Gardening etc. However there is one that did kind of throw me off guard. It's called Teach yourself Weather. "This book takes on the task of explaining weather comprehensively yet keeping it readable," it proclaims. "... recommended only for people with a genuine interest in weather."

Teach weather? Interest in weather?? I thought weather was something people talked about only when there's nothing else to talk about. Ya know, "So, it's nice out today, huh?" "Yeah, I hope we don't get any more of that crappy snow." Betcha now they'll even be weather interest groups, where people will meet to talk about how how the winds from Japan went from blowing 14.2 km/h to 35 km/h while the relative humidity was 0.234 per cent below normal. Even weatherpeople aren't that passionate about it.

Talking about weather, I saw a girl wearing a miniskirt yesterday, when it was almost below-zero and starting to snow. She should read the weather book.